"Porn Addiction (after Mantegna)" single edition laser engraving, 2018, 24x20 inches

This is probably the most uncomfortable piece I've ever made, but I am not one to shy away from my inspirations. At a time when I was confronted with the challenge of quitting porn, I said a prayer for help, even though I didn't really believe in God much at the time. It is one of the first prayers I ever said. I fell asleep and a beautiful glowing angel appeared in my dream. She drew a golden bow and shot me in the groin with an arrow. I fell back onto a bed and was left alone in the room. I went out of body in my dream and looked back and saw myself lying there with dark nastiness spreading from the arrow and I recognized the strange foreshortening of Mantegna's painting "Lamentations of the Dead Christ" - but unlike the painting there were no mourners and no crucifixion wounds. When I awoke, I sketched the idea and eventually after a couple years I made it a reality. Mantegna's original is a painting, but to incorporate the halftone style while still looking "old school" I sought to emulate historical engraving techniques in which the lines follow the cross contours of the body.

The final image was created digitally and then laser engraved into white plexiglass and infilled with black paint. There is a nice wide frame to hold it. I was trying to faithfully recreate my dream, rather than send a clear message, but I hope that contemplating this image will help others in some way.

"For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace." Romans 8:6